*DISCLAIMER*

Warning: Java compilation error. Insufficient coffee. Due to this, none of the characters, situations and sites belong to the authors of this story. They are currently just used to explore the effects of sleep deprivation.

"I was through with this.

"I had had quite enough of being an anime Magical Princess. I never liked anime to begin with. I just wanted to live a normal life.

"Remember how, earlier, I said that reality is conspiring against me?"

Tail Kinker and Kitsy present

*Magical Girl Pretty Ruri*

Episode Twenty:

Mortality

Monday morning.

-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-

Ruri jumped out of bed, grabbed her school uniform and ran for the bathroom. Omoikane looked up lazily.

"Wow, she's in a rush."

He jumped off the bed, padded over to the koi clock, and tapped the reset button. The jarring noise ceased.

"Wonder how long it'll take her to remember she's on vacation?"

"Baka." She tossed the uniform at the cat, knocking him off the desk. "Why did you let me set the alarm clock last night, if you knew it was a vacation day?"

Omoikane shook himself free of the bundle of clothing. "Three reasons. First, it's not my job to remember when you have school. That would be your job. Secondly, I still need cat food and litter. This is also your job. Finally..." He tilted his head. "It's just so damn entertaining watching you run about like a chicken with your head cut off."

"Gee. Thanks." She rummaged through her dresser. "Looks like it's going to be warm. Perhaps I should go swimming today."

The door burst open. "Ruri! You're gonna be late--oh. Right." Usagi turned and wandered out of the room, looking somewhat dazed.

Ruri shrugged. "Just as well. We've got to head into Tokyo anyway."

"Why?"

Ruri grinned. "Partially, it's because the pet store here in Nerima was vaporized. But also, we need to get camping supplies." She grinned. "We're leaving first thing tomorrow, after all."

* * * * *

Akito sat up, and looked blearily in the direction of his alarm clock.

"My clock failed." He rubbed his eyes, and glared at the offending piece of machinery. "Why did my clock fail?"

"Because I turned it off."

He glanced over at the strange voice...to see a tall, slender woman with purple hair. The disturbing part was...he recognized her.

"Mie?"

"Oh. Have we met?" She glanced at him coyly.

"I hope not." He shook his head. Obviously, he wasn't quite awake yet. "So, which writer do you know?"

"...Beg pardon?"

He sighed. "Last time this happened, it was because the girl in question was dating one of the writers." He stood up and reached for a towel. "I've got to get ready for work. Please be gone by the time I get out of the shower."

Mie watched Akito walk out of the room, and scratched her head. "You know...this isn't going anywhere even remotely according to plan."

* * * * *

The room was dark, the walls lined with shelves of books. Against one wall was a massive oaken desk with a single lantern casting feeble illumination.

Genichiro stared into the Eye of Jinchi morosely.

"Why so glum, my friend?" Akara was leaning against one of the bookcases. "We finally have our ki reservoirs completely full. Now you can devote the remainder of your time to hunting down that irritating girl."

Genichiro sighed, and leaned back. "So we've got all the ki we need. So what? Now what do we do with it?"

"What? So forgetful?" Akara chuckled. "Let me explain, my friend.

"Reality is like a tapestry. Various lives and paths intertwine on it, to form the pattern. A person sufficiently set aside from the tapestry can perceive its pattern with ease."

"Like a monk."

"You understand. Or like ourselves." Akara waved a hand around the room. "This room, this region, is an observatory, from which we can perceive the tapestry.

"Currently, the tapestry cannot sustain itself. There are too few threads, too few connections, for it to remain stable. If one or two threads are improperly pulled, if strain is placed on the tapestry at the wrong points, it will all come unwoven."

"And Magical Girl Pretty Ruri is making it happen."

"No. She is merely misguided. She sees what we do in only a limited light." Akara sighed. "Now, if left to itself, the tapestry would eventually stabilize, and last forever. But this would take millennia. My Master's very existence depends on the existence of this tapestry. And He has discovered that an infusion of ki will stabilize the tapestry more quickly, rather as if one charred the edges." He shrugged. "Of course, in the process, some threads are burned. And Ruri objects to the burning of threads."

Genichiro nodded. "True." He bit his lip. "But if this is all some `save-the-universe' thing, then what of the promises that you made to Tsukumo and I? If we're bent on saving this universe, why would you tell me that I was going to be ruling part of it?"

"Simple. As part of burning some threads...others get rewoven to take their place in a more...prominent standing."

"That makes...no sense at all."

* * * * *

There was a shimmering of lavender fire, and Mie appeared in the throne room.

Akara looked up from the throne. "Back so soon?"

"That man is impossible!" Mie shook her head. "He simply does not want to be seduced."

"Really?"

"I believe his exact words were, `Oh, no, not again!'"

Akara chuckled. "So your feminine wiles have failed."

She scowled. "Perhaps you think you could do better?"

Akara shuddered. "Not an image I needed, thanks. I'm not the pretty-boy type."

Mie chuckled. "Don't criticize my technique." She sighed. "But I don't know what else to try...I'm pretty much just a two-dimensional character."

"Sex appeal and snide comments." Akara nodded knowingly. "But remember...this person, the one you've been assigned to convert, has a girlfriend."

Mie smiled evilly. "Oh, yes...Ruri."

* * * * *

"Bless you!"

"Thanks." Ruri rubbed her nose.

* * * * *

"Fired?"

Houmei sighed. "I'm sorry, Tenkawa, but for most of the last two weeks, you've missed a lot of work."

"For a lot of those two weeks, the store had been blown up."

"Which leads to the second reason: No money."

"So `laid off' would be a better way of putting it."

"I suppose." Houmei shrugged. "Sorry. As soon as business picks up again, you'll be the first person I call. But for now...try to get your life in order, okay?"

Akito closed the door behind him, and sighed. His apartment was paid for the next six weeks - his landlord insisted on quarterly rent payments - but his food wouldn't last forever. Nor did he have six weeks of food money laid aside. Plus, what to do when that ran out?

"Hello again."

He groaned. "Look, I don't know what you want, but I can't give it to you, okay?"

She smiled at him. "You don't have to know. It's enough that I do." She stepped closer to him and planted a fingernail on his chest. "Now then: we need to go on a bit of a date."

"No thanks."

"Oh, you seem to think you have a choice in the matter. How amusing." She grinned. "It might be best for you to meet me at the Tokyo Tower. Best for both you...and Ruri."

Akito blinked. "Ruri?"

"Yes, I know all about her. And I don't think you'd like anything...unpleasant...to happen to her." She stepped back. "Remember: Tokyo Tower, eight o'clock tonight. Alone." Her expression darkened. "Or I'll go visit Ruri instead. And she'll pay."

* * * * *

"Thirteen hundred fifty yen, please."

"What?" Yurika was shocked. "That's outrageous!"

"Yeah, but he's my responsibility." Ruri sighed, and forked over the cash. "And he should have a flea collar."

"Yeah, but why go to the vet?"

It was the veterinarian's secretary that answered. "You can't get this brand over the counter. Absolutely the best."

"I suppose."

"Also, remember what happened to the pet store."

"Oh...yeah." She elbowed Ruri. "I wish, though, that the first I'd heard of it hadn't been the newspaper..."

The vet's secretary spoke up again. "There is a pet store right here in the mall. It's not very big, but..."

"Cat food and cat litter?"

"Oh, certainly!"

"Thank you." Ruri turned to Yurika. "Let's go."

"Ice cream now?"

"After the pet store."

Usagi was waiting for them outside the vet's office. "You all set?"

"Yes. There's a pet store in the mall. We can get the cat litter and food there."

"Oh, and I want to stop at the salon, to get my hair done."

Ruri rolled her eyes. "Mom, if you tease your hair any more, it's gonna bite you."

* * * * *

Inez snapped her laptop computer shut and scowled. All of her research had led her to one inescapable conclusion: The four of them - Ruri, Akito, Yurika and herself - were trapped in some sort of manufactured universe. One that existed only in the realm of possibility.

That left only the question of whom had manufactured the universe. And, more importantly, why?

"Problems, Inez?"

Ai looked over at the cat. How exactly she'd gotten suckered into looking after him today was a mystery to her. "Yes, actually. I was wondering if you could exp--"

"Not my job."

"The information that I have correlated seems to indicate that the situation that my companions and I are trapped in is some sort of pocket reality. In our own reality, you are a powerful supercomputer." She gestured towards the laptop in disgust. "This...thing...is hardly better than an abacus."

"And?"

"And you're not one for volunteering information, are you?"

"Of course not. You don't have a proper login and password." The cat snickered.

She sighed. "Forget I asked." She flipped open the computer again. "I need more sensitive instrumentation. The stuff I swiped from the school lab isn't up to analyzing Boson radiation or phase shifts. Even a powerful electromagnetic radiation transceiver--"

"Like a CB radio?"

"No, more sensitive..." She paused. "Of course! A large enough radio antenna, combined with some of the instruments I already have..." She glanced out the window. "None of the antennae on these houses are large enough. So where's the largest radio transmitter in the area?"

* * * * *

"How about this collar?"

Ruri looked at the collar in question - pink, with rhinestones and lace. "Put that down before I have to hurt you."

"What's wrong with it? It's so cute!"

"My point exactly."

"Oh, I suppose you'd like something more like this?" Yurika lifted a second collar out of the bin. This one was black leather, with chains, spikes and studs. It looked like something out of a bondage catalogue.

Ruri twitched. "Perhaps Ryoko would like that one."

Usagi pulled a third collar from the bin. "How about this one?"

Ruri blinked. The collar was a plain brown, with a single golden bell. "Baka."

"Huh?"

"That one's perfect."

"Hey, Ruri. Isn't that Akito?"

Yurika jumped up, hearts in her eyes. "My Akito's here! I have to go see him!"

Usagi blinked. "Um...He appeared to be in a hurry."

Ruri considered. Akito in a hurry, when by rights he should have been at work...or at least in Nerima..."I think I should make sure he's all right."

"Forget it! Hands off my Akito!"

Ruri ignored Yurika, and turned to her mother. "Mom, here's fifteen hundred yen."

Her mother blinked. "You have money?"

"Yes, left over from my allowance, specifically for cat food and cat litter." She turned and headed out of the store, then turned back. "Oh, and a catnip mouse. He really wants one of those."

* * * * *

Nerima was nowhere near the center of Tokyo; it had taken Akito some time to get there.

"How the hell did she find out about Ruri?" Akito smacked his forehead. "Of course--she simply uses her real name. The ditz." He shook his head. "Something is horribly wrong with her...she's not acting the way she normally does." He snorted. "Something's horribly wrong with everything."

"Akito!"

"Oh, Lord."

"Akito! It's me!"

He bowed to the inevitable, and turned. "Ruri, Yurika...Not now, okay?"

"But why?" Yurika was looking at him like a kicked puppy. "You never have time for me anymore!"

Ruri's look was more like a hurt kitten. "Please come with us, Akito. We're about to go for dinner."

"I can't." He threw up his hands. "I have to get to the Tokyo Tower to--" He paused; he couldn't exactly tell them why he needed to go there.

"To what?"

He considered. "Job interview. I got laid off today. Too much battle damage to the restaurant..."

Ruri looked downcast.

Yurika, on the other hand, would miss a clue if it danced around her wearing a name tag. "We can go with you! We'll just stay outside while you take your interview."

"Well...it would be a bad idea for me to show up for a business job interview with two girls your age in tow. The employers might get the wrong idea."

"Oh."

Ruri snickered. "You're right. They might think you're dating her."

"Ruri! You're so mean!"

"You understand, then."

"Akito! Noooo..." Yurika ran away from them, bawling.

Akito smacked his forehead again. "I gotta stop doing that...Gotta run, Ruri." He turned and walked away.

Ruri considered. "A job interview...for a business? At eight in the evening?" She shook her head. "I'd better follow him."

* * * * *

Ai stepped off the train and looked up at the massive Tower. Even this far from it, she could see it clearly. Four thousand tonnes, three hundred and thirty-three meters of steel, used as a relay for nine television stations and five FM radio stations. And destined to be destroyed in every anime and movie set in this part of Tokyo.

Why did she suddenly have a very bad feeling about this?

"Akito! You're mean!" Yurika ran past her, bawling.

Ai shook her head. "I'd better hurry, and get there while it's still standing."

* * * * *

The elevator doors opened on the upper observation deck of the Tower, and Akito stepped out. The deck was empty; it was usually clogged with tourists, but it was the off season. Behind him, the elevator doors closed, and the car started its trip back down.

"I see you made it."

Akito turned, to see Mie leaning against the rail. "What do you want from me?"

"I don't know...how practised are you in bed?"

"Ack!"

"No, on second though, you can't be more than thirty...no practise at all." She shook her head. "But as for what I really want...is you. My boss has decided that you're exactly the right sort of talent that we need."

"You mean this really is a job interview?"

"Sort of. We need someone like you. Bold. Courageous. Tactically skilled. And willing to do whatever it takes to save lives."

He frowned. A somewhat hazy memory stirred. "Whatever it takes? Like draining someone's energy?"

"If we don't gather ki, everyone will die."

The elevator doors opened, but neither of them noticed. Ruri was about to step out, but she hesitated as the conversation reached her.

"And like blasting that Tsukumo guy?"

"He was an idiot! And he was killed by an idiot!"

"And trying to corrupt people?"

Mie blinked. "Corrupt?"

"You've done everything but run for public office!"

She tilted her head. "Well, in a way, we are public servants."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

There was a flicker of golden fire, and Genichiro materialized on the platform. In one hand, he held a small crystal ball.

"I knew you'd fail at this."

Mie turned to Genichiro. "You've been spying on me."

"Well...yeah. I'll take it from here." He turned to Akito and raised the crystal.

Ruri tapped the close door button, and reached for her Kasei no Henshin.

"Mars Guardian, Make-UP!"

The light seared her eyes, all blue and gold. The air around her rippled, and she felt waves of incredible heat pounding her. Her clothes shredded and re-formed into the blue skirt, tight-fitting golden bodysuit and long blue boots and gloves. The tiara formed on her brow, and the Henshin lengthened to quarterstaff proportions.

She stabbed the open door button with a finger, and stepped out onto the deck.

Genichiro glanced her way, and sneered. "I didn't really think we needed this pitiful mortal. Mie, take care of him. I'll take care of Ruri." He turned to face Ruri, pointing the crystal ball at her, and launched a brilliant bolt of force at her.

Ruri tried to sidestep the blast, but was just a little too slow. The force of the shot slammed her into a girder, leaving a sizeable dent in it. And her.

* * * * *

Ai looked up at the sudden flash from the upper deck of the Tokyo Tower.

"Oh, this isn't good..."

* * * * *

Genichiro chuckled. "You cannot possibly withstand the full force of the Eye of Jinchi." He raised the crystal again, loosed another blast. Ruri was knocked flying, impacted the railing, and cried out in pain.

"See how it's done, Mie? One more good blast, and she'll fall for me..." He carefully aimed the crystal...

Akito stepped forward, and shimmered, the azure battlesuit materializing around him. He jumped forward, landing in front of Ruri and absorbing the blast from the Eye. The blast sent him careening about the deck, and he landed, unconscious, at Mie's feet. The armour shimmered, and vanished.

Mie's eyes bugged out. "It was him! All along--"

Ruri had staggered to her feet. She held the quarterstaff in front of her, eyes closed. A wind began to swirl around her, and her hair fluttered, drawn out to its full length. She opened her eyes, swept the staff around her and brought it to rest, pointing directly at Genichiro.

"Gravity Blast!"

A black field of energy formed around the tip of the staff, then flowed down to encompass Ruri completely. It swelled outward, and exploded into a cone of black energy. Genichiro was caught dead center, smashed through the center of the tower, and blown clear of the tower.

Mie nodded. "You surprise me, girl. I didn't think you actually had it in you to kill." She knelt. gathered Akito in her arms, and vanished in a spray of lavender fire.

Ruri collapsed to her knees, and dropped her face into her hands.

* * * * *

On the ground, Ai watched as the Tower was sliced apart by what was obviously a Gravity Blast. One person could be seen flying through the air, at the start of his quarter- kilometer trip to the ground. The top of the tower had bent, and was resting at an odd angle. She scowled; the elevator wasn't going to be functional, as the mechanism was at the top. There was only one way she was going to reach the top. She reached for her Henshin.

* * * * *

Ruri was seated against the core of the Tower, her knees drawn up to her chest, a blank look on her face. She had reverted to "civilian" clothes.

Ai landed on the remains of the upper observation deck. "Ruri...did you have to blow up the Tower? I had plans for that."

"He's gone."

"Who?"

"Akito. They took him..."

Ai was relieved; she was almost afraid that it had been Akito she'd seen, falling from the tower. "Who took him? The Enemy?"

"Yes. I couldn't stop them."

"Who was it that..."

"Genichiro. And some woman was here, too."

"Where are they now?"

"The woman's gone, with Akito."

"And Genichiro?"

"Dead. I killed him." She dropped her head back down to her knees and wept.

* * * * *

Our apologies to: Piers Anthony, Ah! Megami-sama, Douglas Adams. A short list this time.

Yes, this chapter ends on a rather somber note...We feel that the series is definitely headed down a far more serious road. (Though there will still be some absurdity in it...it is Nadesico, after all). But don't worry; it won't become a darkfic. :)

#include <std-cnc.h>

Comments and Criticism can be sent to tailkinker@home.com or to kitsy@home.com. This story tends to be archived at both www.geocities.com/groves_ca and members.home.net/kitsy. Finally, there is a mailing list associated with this story. To subscribe, send mail to tailkinker@home.com with `subscribe MGPR' as the subject.

Ja ne!