*DISCLAIMER* Warning: Java compilation error. Insufficient coffee. Due to this, none of the characters, situations and sites belong to the authors of this story. They are currently just used to explore the effects of sleep deprivation.

"My new attack is too dangerous. I damaged large amounts of the hospital. I could have killed a lot of people.

"I don't think I can control my powers anymore. I didn't want them in the first place. So I'm not going to use them anymore. Dad is taking me horseback riding, so we're off to the country. And Mom decided that Akito could use some fresh air, so he's invited too.

"Finally, a chance just to relax. A chance to be myself..."

Tail Kinker and Kitsy present

*Magical Girl Pretty Ruri*

Episode Eighteen:

A New Category

Omoikane stared at Ruri in shock. "But--"

"Forget it, Omoikane. You're staying here."

The cat scowled. "And how exactly am I supposed to keep an eye on you while you're gone?"

"You're not. You get me in enough trouble as it is." Ruri pulled on her gloves, once again wondering how her father had gotten her an entire riding outfit on only two days' notice. "And besides, in case you've forgotten, I've given up this Magical Girl crap. Just gonna be a normal teenager from now on, with small problems, like drugs, tobacco and sex. No freaking monsters."

Omoikane blinked. "You're not acting at all like yourself. Are you feeling all right?"

"Yep. Ever since I quit...I've felt better than ever." She grabbed her overnight bag. "Now you stay here and be good." She strode from the room.

Omoikane scowled. "This is not good. I think maybe she's gone schizophrenic." He considered. "Well, more than usual."

* * * * *

"I think he's gone completely schizophrenic."

The walls were hung with red tapestries, each bearing a silhouette of an insect. Before him was a massive marble scarab, carved to accomodate a person, as a throne. On either side of the throne was a brazier, and in front of it, a low-set crystal ball.

Akara scowled down at Mie. "Schizophrenic or not, he is at least completely loyal to our cause. Unlike Tsukumo."

"True." Mie conceded the point. "But he has also consistently failed to destroy Pretty Ruri."

"But he keeps bringing in ki. Destroying the Martian Successors is a secondary goal. Without a continuing flow of ki, we could not survive. And Genichiro keeps the ki flowing. Until he fails in that regard, he shall continue to serve."

Mie played her trump card. "But he stole the Eye of Jinchi."

Akara laughed. "Do you really think he stole it?"

Mie blinked.

"Do you think that anyone could touch the Eye of Jinchi without my consent?" He gestured down to the crystal ball. "By all means, attempt to steal the Golden Eye of Harmony."

Mie hesitated.

"Do it!"

Mie reached out, and touched the crystal ball.

*ZORCH*

Mie snatched her badly burned hand back and scowled at Akara. "That will require a substantial amount of ki to repair."

"I let him take the Eye of Jinchi. He may deal with its curses. And at the very least..." Akara stepped down, and touched the Golden Eye of Harmony.

The Eye flared, showing a darkened room, the walls lined with shelves of books. Against one wall was a massive oaken desk with a single lantern casting feeble illumination. Seated at the desk was Genichiro.

"...We can keep an eye on him."

* * * * *

Genichiro sneezed.

"Pollen." He scowled, then turned back to the Eye of Jinchi.

"I must gather more ki. The Paragons, transformed into SuperGolems, aren't working as well as they used to." He sighed. "I must have a new plan. I must gather more ki! I MUST..."

He grabbed a book from the desk, and began flipping through the pages. His finger stabbed down on the appropriate line.

"I MUST DESTROY THE MARTIAN SUCCESSORS!"

He followed this proclamation with Evil Laugh #3 (Plotting to destroy the heroines.)

* * * * *

Akito folded the blanket and handed it to Usagi. "Thanks for everything, Usagi."

"No problem, Akito. After all, you're like family now." She glanced down at the blanket. "It's not quite a bolt of cloth..."

Akito began to sweat.

* * * * *

Omoikane scowled at the computer, one paw tapping on the mouse button.

"Stupid machine. Can't play cards worth a damn. I thought this OS was supposed to have the best solitaire game money could buy?"

He hopped over to the window and gazed out. "I bet Ruri's having a lot of fun--"

---

Ruri stared out the train window.

*Why the heck is the stables forty klicks out of town?*

---

"--While I'm stuck here being bored." Omoikane hopped down from the window, onto the fence outside. "This is annoying! I can't decide what to do! Oh, well. Might as well check how the girls are doing at school."

* * * * *

"Kanzaki."

"Hai."

"Daidouji."

"Present."

"Maxwell."

"Yo."

"Hoshino."

No answer. Nakaguri-sensei didn't normally call the roll, but Uribitake-sensei was ill today.

"Hoshino."

Still no answer.

"Hoshino..."

* * * * *

The car was not in the best of condition, even for a rental unit, but it served to get the threesome from the train station to the ranch.

Ruri hopped out of the car and grabbed her duffle. "Finally here!" She turned to her father. "How long are we staying, Dad? Just today and tomorrow?"

"Yep." Hikaru was dressed for riding, something that brought a chuckle to Ruri - she'd never seen her father wearing anything but a salaryman's uniform. He grabbed the suitcase from the trunk, then turned to Akito. "You want to grab that, son?"

"Sure."

"Let me get that for you, Akito." Ruri grabbed Akito's duffle bag, as well as the cooler. "You're still weak from your illness."

"You're gonna be ill if you try carrying all of that, Princess." Hikaru took Akito's duffle bag from Ruri. "Let's go get our rooms."

The three walked through the gate - two massive stone pillars, bracing a low stone wall, with an arch overhead. On the arch was the ranch's badge, a winged unicorn, painted white with golden hooves and horn.

"It was kind of your father to bring us here. I heard that horseback riding was really expensive."

"Dad doesn't mind spending a little bit of money once and a while." Ruri never stopped to consider how she `remembered' that detail. "He doesn't break down crying whenever a bill crosses his desk."

"But this is really expensive! And he just decided that he could afford to take me, too."

"No surprise there. Mom decided that the fresh air would do you some good." Ruri very carefully avoided mentioning the other things her mother decided this situation would help.

* * * * *

Omoikane jumped up to the window ledge.

"First floor. Offices, nursing station, storage rooms, cafeteria." He looked up. "Why couldn't she be a first year student? That's a hell of a long way to climb."

He trotted to the end of the windowsill and looked up again. "An eight foot jump...No problem right?" He gathered himself and leaped, landing gracefully on the ledge.

"Hey, am I special, or what?" He smirked, then examined the ledge above him. "That window goes to Ruri's classroom. So I gotta jump from here to there--" He glanced over at the next ledge. "And then back to there." He gathered himself and leaped again.

"Piece of cake. Now for one easy jump--"

* * * * *

"It's rather warm in here. Asuka, could you open the window, please?"

"Hai, sensei."

* * * * *

Omoikane missed his jump. Well, actually, he'd timed it so that he'd bump against the glass on landing. It seemed like a good way to stop.

Of course, with the window opened, he missed it. And landed in the classroom.

"Kawaii!"

"Wow, that's a big cat!"

"She's so cute!"

*She?* Omoikane fumed.

"I like the silver on her. Makes her look regal."

Omoikane was grabbed from behind. "I'm sorry, Nakaguri- sensei. This cat belongs to Hoshino-san. I'll take it outside."

"You do that." Nakaguri-sensei sighed. "At least her cat has chosen to show up today. Although, you will note, class, that the cat was also late. Do you think that this is a learned behaviour, or simply a manifestation of the feline genetic code?"

"Maybe Ruri has some cat in her," Megumi offered helpfully. "She did meow at me once."

* * * * *

Omoikane fumed. He had been carried unceremoniously outside and dumped on the side walk. Yurika knelt down in front of him.

"Ruri's gone off into the country."

"I don't really care. You can't come to class!"

"But I'm bored."

Yurika sighed, and stood up. "Go find something to do. Chase mice or something, I dunno. But you can't come back here." She turned to leave, and realized that she was gathering odd looks from students and faculty members.

"What? Don't you people ever talk to your pets?"

* * * * *

The sunbeam had moved.

Omoikane sighed, stood up and walked three feet to the left.

"Stupid thing won't stand still. How am I supposed to get a proper nap?"

"Meow?"

Omoikane opened one eye, to see a small kitten looking down at him. No, not a kitten; an adolescent cat, just rather small. As in, one third his own size, and as cute as a basket of baby bunnies. Her fur was silver tabby, like his own, but somewhat unruly, with a few tufts of hair sticking up from the back of her head. And the saucy grin it wore spoke volumes.

"Great. It's Nermal." He closed his eye, and concentrated on trying to sleep.

"Meow." The cat pawed at him.

He opened an eye again. "Okay, kid. Time to clear out."

"Mrrr?"

Omoikane frowned. "You're a cat, and I'm a cat...Why can't we understand each other?" He mentally smacked himself. "Because I only learned human languages...Crap."

The cat looked at him expectantly.

"WHAT?!"

The cat looked over his shoulder. Omoikane turned, to see a man with a net. He squinted to read the badge on the man's jacket.

"Animal control officer...Oh, hell..." Omoikane jumped up and ran.

* * * * *

Genichiro faded into view with a spray of golden glitter. In one hand he held the Eye of Jinchi. He held the crystal ball out in front of him.

"Eye of Jinchi, you have led me here to find the Paragon of Animals." He glanced around, and his eyes came to rest on the animal control officer.

"That's him?"

*ZORCH*

"Ite...I guess not. Whom do I seek?"

The Eye cleared, to show a pair of grey cats.

* * * * *

"Thanks kid. I'm glad you were there. I woulda hated to be impounded. Again, that is."

The cat looked at him blankly.

"You don't speak Japanese at all, do you?"

The cat tilted her head and frowned.

Omoikane sighed. "Never mind."

She perked up, one ear twitching, then jumped up to the wall.

"What? What is it?" Omoikane jumped up to the wall alongside her.

From around the corner, on the other side of the wall, came a cat. A long-haired lilac point siamese, claws scrabbling, skidding around the corner, to find itself in a blind alley.

Following her were a pride of three large toms, not one as large as Omoikane, but all three in impressive physical condition.

Omoikane blinked as there was a flash out of the corner of his eye. The smaller grey had launched herself into the alley, claws flared. She bounced off a trashcan lid, setting the can wobbling, before slamming into the black-and- white moggie that led the pride.

The moggie was rather surprised at the ferocity of the kitten's attack, and paused...just long enough for the wobbling trashcan to land on his head. The grey leaped over the can, bounced past the tiger tabby, slashing it on the way by, and landed facing her opponent.

Omoikane winced. "That must have hurt." It was then that he noticed the blue creeping up behind the grey. "Prussian Blue...ugly breed." He glanced around, and his eye came to rest on a rather sizeable brick that some kid had balanced on the wall.

"Just the thing." One flick of his paw sent the brick towards the blue. It missed, but the blue, startled, fled the alley.

The tiger tabby, realizing that he was alone, bleeding, and facing three rather torqued cats, decided that the odds were not in its favour. It too fled the combat area.

The siamese glanced over at them gratefully, then hopped over the wall. Omoikane looked over at the grey. "Nice. Very nice."

Normally cats don't have much in the way of facial expression. But Omoikane would later swear that the grey was smirking.

* * * * *

"Where the hell are they?"

Genichiro had managed to lose track of the cats. The Eye of Jinchi would lead him unerringly to his prey...assuming that he could understand the damned thing.

*ZORCH*

"Great! I can't even think ill thoughts about it! Good thoughts are now required."

He turned the corner, just in time to receive a face full of...cat. The cat seemed intent on getting away from the alley as fast as possible. Luckily for it, Genichiro's face provided great traction.

"Damn cat!" Genichiro swatted at it, but it was already gone. He quickly pulled out a comb and straightened his hair.

* * * * *

"Wait, wait. I gotta take a break."

Ruri reined in the horse and glanced over at her father. Hikaru had hopped off of his own mount and was rubbing his legs. She swung herself off of her horse - a palomino, brown and white patchy - and walked over to her father.

"We can walk the horses for a while, Dad."

He grinned up at her. "You know, this is probably the first time you've ever called me `Dad'."

Ruri blinked.

"Usually it's `Father'." He shrugged. "I suppose I should call you Ruri. Instead of `Princess'."

"`Princess' works."

Hikaru laughed. "All right. Princess."

"As long as it's not `Chibi-Usa'."

"`Chibi-Usa?' That's kinda cute."

"Don't."

"Who uses that one?"

"Ummm...Akito."

"That young man has really impressed your mother. What did he do?"

"Well...he brought me an alarm clock, shaped like a fish..."

Hikaru blinked.

"I think she's just trying to get me married off."

Hikaru shrugged. "Well, he seems to be an honourable young man. Though a little too old for you. He's, what, seventeen?"

"Twenty."

* * * * *

Birds rose from the forest in flocks at the sudden, bellowed, "TWENTY?!"

* * * * *

"Aha!"

Omoikane turned in surprise, to see Genichiro standing at the mouth of the alley.

"Crap." He turned to the grey kitten. "We need to go. Now. This is a bad guy."

"Meow?"

Genichiro glanced over at the Eye of Jinchi. "The smaller cat, eh?" He turned back to the cats. "I'll dispose of you later. But first..." He dropped a miniature Batto on the ground, and it scurried quickly towards the grey kitten.

Omoikane watched it run. He flicked out a single claw, and lazily skewered the microgolem.

Genichiro's jaw dropped.

Omoikane looked up at him, skewered Batto twitching and sparking on the one upheld claw. "That was kinda pathetic."

Genichiro started patting his pockets. "I gotta have another one...Oh, hell." He turned back to Omoikane. "But I can still remove one Royal Advisor from the inventory." He drew his crystal rapier.

"Ahem."

Genichiro paused, and turned around...to see two Martian Successors. "Uh..."

"Trying to pick on a cat?" Ai was tapping her hammer in the palm of her open hand. "Can't find someone your own level to fight? Or perhaps a cat is on your level. Particle Blast!" Ai swung the hammer, as though to throw it, and it blazed a bright golden. A crescent-shaped beam of energy formed, and flew across the room to slam into Genichiro's shield.

Genichiro scowled, and lunged with the rapier. Ai casually parried with Mjolner, snapping the rapier in two. He gaped at his broken weapon.

"Flare Arrow!" Yurika raised the bow, and pulled back the string. A flaming arrow appeared at her fingertips. She aimed at Genichiro, and let it fly, only to see it bounce off the Dark General's shield.

Yurika shrugged. "Never mind, then. I can just smack you around some."

"Not today, I think." Genichiro took a step back, and raised the Eye of Jinchi. With a spray of golden fire, he vanished.

Yurika grinned. "Not bad. Not bad at all. We prevented the appearance of a Golem, and kicked a Dark General's ass back to the Negaverse--"

Ai flinched.

"--And all without Ruri's help."

Ai sighed. "Let me explain a few things to you. First off, it's the Dark World, not the Negaverse. You're watching too much anime again. Second, we did not `kick his ass', he chose to make a tactical retreat. Third...Ruri is, at this moment, on an extended, overnight date with Akito, on a riding ranch."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

* * * * *

Akito draped the campfire blanket over Ruri, then sat down next to her. Ruri smiled at him, and drew the blanket around him as well. The firepit was set some distance away from any of the ranch buildings, sufficiently apart that it was easy to lose oneself in the feeling of being out there, on the land. There were, besides Akito, Ruri, and Hikaru, five other people around the fire. One of the other people had a guitar, strumming idly.

Ruri stared into the fire. "You know, Akito, it's really nice to actually have a day where nothing earth-shattering happens."

"I didn't know school was that rough on you."

"Ummm...yeah."

"Always some sort of emergency cropping up?"

"Something like that."

Akito grinned. "I just got a talking to from your father."

"Oh, no." Ruri's head drooped.

* * * * *

Author's Notes:

Omoikane side story: C'mon, everyone else got one.

Okay, Tail Kinker is less than overall impressed with this chapter. It was fragmented, and didn't really make a hell of a lot of sense. Unfortunately, we have some slack in the outline that we need to make up. Oh, well. Blame it on heat exhaustion. Kitsy's computer puts out about 14,000 BTU.

On the other hand, we did manage to (almost) recapture the silliness of earlier episodes. Always a good thing. Hey, we know, we're doing the C&C before we even mail the fic.

Apologies to: Piers Anthony, Friday evenings, Ferris Bueller, Jim Davis, Ben Stein, Sunrise Entertainment, Josie Colwill, Steve Jackson, Natsume Atsuko.

To MicroSoft, however, we have no apologies. In fact, nothing but contempt.

Comments and Criticism can be sent to tailkinker@home.com or to kitsy@home.com. This story tends to be archived at both www.geocities.com/groves_ca and members.home.net/kitsy. Finally, there is a mailing list associated with this story. To subscribe, send mail to kitsy@home.com with `subscribe MGPR' as the subject.