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*DISCLAIMER*
Warning: Java compilation error. Insufficient coffee. Due to this, none of the characters, situations and sites belong to the authors of this story. They are currently just used to explore the effects of sleep deprivation.
"After a day of recollection, and going over what I've learned, the damage to the school has been fully repaired. Oh, joy. Just another series of struggles between myself and my alarm clock. One of these days I'll figure out a way to wake up on time...
"At least I managed to get my homework done for once. A couple of extra days definitely helped with that..."
Tail Kinker and Kitsy present
Magical Girl Pretty Ruri
Episode Fifteen:
Time Flies When You're Not Having Fun
*SLAM*
"Ruri! Hurry up, or you'll be late for school again!"
Ruri rubbed her forehead where it had hit the ceiling. "That's going to leave a mark."
Usagi shook her head in dismay. "Why are you still sleeping? Megumi's waiting for you!" She turned and jogged downstairs.
Ruri grabbed blindly for a school uniform and began struggling into it.
"No shower this morning?"
Ruri glared at the cat. "The least you could do is help me wake up on time."
"What do I look like? An alarm clock? Besides, I'm already doing the least I could do."
"Yes. Nothing." She grabbed her bookbag and ran downstairs.
* * * * *
The walls were hung with red tapestries, each bearing a silhouette of an insect. At one end of the chamber was a massive marble scarab, carved to accomodate a person, as a throne. On either side of the throne was a brazier.
Akara gazed down from the throne at the small golden pedestal that normally supported the Eye of Jinchi.
"Well, this was not entirely unexpected...it proves where his loyalties lie." Akara stood, pulling his cloak around him, and stalked towards the far wall. "I only hope that he can handle such power, and the curses associated with it."
He raised a hand, and moved it in a half-circular pattern in front of the wall. Part of the wall slowly melted away, revealing a box with a crystal within it. He carefully reached into the box and picked up the crystal, then walked back to the throne. He gently placed the crystal on the pedestal.
"Until the Eye of Jinchi is returned, I shall have to use the Golden Eye of Harmony."
* * * * *
Megumi giggled as Ruri tripped on the second to last step and tumbled to the floor. "Well, it's about time you decided to make an appearance."
Ruri glared at her, picked herself up off the floor and grabbed her bento from her mother. "Let's go, Megumi."
"Wait, Ruri! What about your breakfast?"
Ruri was busy stuffing the bento into her bookbag. "Sorry, Mom. I'm gonna be late!"
"Yes...you are. At least take a breakfast bar! Or two, or three..."
Ruri grabbed the breakfast bar from her mother and dashed for the door. Megumi giggled again, then chased her.
"Baka...I really wish I could find some way to get up on time."
Ruri set one hand on the porch railing and vaulted over it, landing squarely on her backside. "Ite!" She jumped to her feet and ran down the sidewalk.
Megumi took the stairs. "I'm surprised you didn't lose your skirt that way. Not that it mattered. The entire neighbourhood saw everything they wanted to. Or didn't want to, as the case may be. Have you no shame?"
"Not when I'm in a hurry!"
"It was wasted effort, anyway. Both because you fell, and because Akito wasn't here..."
"Baka."
"Slow down, anyway! We're alreay late. A little more time isn't gonna kill us."
"No...I'm more worried about Uribitake-sensei."
* * * * *
"Good morning, class. I trust that you all enjoyed that short enforced vacation that we had from these halls of learning? At this time, I would ask that you all turn in the essays on terraforming that you were assigned last week. I certainly expect that the extra couple of days to work on them were well spent, and these essays should be shining examples of the type."
*CRASH*
"Good morning, Hoshino-san."
Ruri grabbed the first desk in line and pulled it back into position. "Gomen, Aoi-san. Gomen, Sensei."
"You may turn in your homework assignment now, then get a bucket and stand in the hall. I trust that your homework is in order?"
"Hai."
Ruri quickly moved to her seat, only tripping once on the way, and opened her bookbag. And stared in dismay at the rice-and-curry-covered ruin that had been her science homework.
Ruri opened her mouth, staring in disbelief. "--
"Baka," said Yukina, grinning at her.
Ruri closed her mouth and glared at Yukina.
"Stare. Wow, that was really stupid, putting your bento into your bookbag."
"I was in a rush."
"And this is news?"
"Hoshino Ruri, I am waiting for you to turn in your assignment."
"Ummm...Sensei...there's a slight problem."
"What is it? Perhaps your bento ate your homework?"
"...Yes."
Her sensei walked down the aisle and glanced down at her desk. "I see."
"Ummm..."
"Your mother still enjoys cooking her curry. You may carry two buckets into the hall today."
*CRASH*
"Gomen!"
"Ah, Misumaru-san! As soon as you turn in your homework, you may join Hoshino-san in the hall. Unless, of course, your homework met with the same fate as Hoshino-san's?"
* * * * *
"This is futile!"
The room was dark, the walls lined with shelves of books. Against one wall was a massive oaken desk with a single lantern casting feeble illumination.
"What is, O Great And Powerful Master?" Mie materialized in a spray of petals behind Genichiro.
"For all the great Eye of Jinchi has managed to accomplish, we are still too far behind on the Master's plans to gather ki. At this rate, his plans will go unfulfilled." Genichiro shuddered. "And you just know he'll take it out on us."
"Well, on you, anyway. Remember, right now, this is your show."
"Well, this episode was badly written."
Mie sat down on the edge of the desk. "You know, I've been doing some research on these Magical Girls that have been causing you so many problems recently."
"More anime?"
"Hush. It seems that these Magical Girls have certain weaknesses. For example, they love food, and seem totally unable to get up on time for school. So, if you plan your attack around something that a Magical Girl would avoid like the plague - like, say, an alarm clock--"
Genichiro snorted. "A marvellous idea, I am certain, but unfortunately we must listen to this blasted crystal ball--"
*ZORCH*
Genichiro scowled at the crystal, then bent over it. "Eye of Jinchi, show me the path we must pursue..."
--MIE'S IDEA IS A GOOD ONE--
He blinked.
"I hate my life..."
* * * * *
"This sucks."
"It's not my fault."
"Oh, right, Ruri. And just who is it that never manages to get up on time? Who is it that never has their homework ready on time?" Yurika shook her head. "I don't understand it at all. You're totally different here than you were on the Nadesico."
"But I'm not. Things just never work out here."
"Oh, right. I suppose the universe has this conspiracy against you?"
"Yes."
Yurika opened her mouth, then paused. "You need an alarm clock."
"I had one."
"What happened to it?"
"It had a violent and unpleasant effect on my digestion. So I threw it out."
"We can get you a new one! Let's go down to the department store right now!"
Ruri raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting we cut class?"
"Why not?"
"Sensei is already upset with us. Why aggravate him further?"
"Let's face it, Ruri. Not having us in his class is probably the best thing in the world for his stress levels. Besides, we can drop in at Houmei's ice cream parlor and visit Akito...Ruri! Wait up!"
* * * * *
Genichiro looked around the department store. "This is as good a place as any." He fished around in his pocket and pulled out a tiny Batto. "Seek out a Paragon."
The Batto chirped, then dropped to the floor and scuttled off into the drainage system. Genichiro blinked.
"I really hope that it's just using the drains for transit."
"May I help you, sir?"
Genichiro turned, and looked down at the small brown- haired girl. "Uh..."
"Are you shopping for someone else? A present, perhaps?"
"...Uh, yeah. An alarm clock." He laughed nervously. "She's kinda...lazy."
"Alarm clock? Yes, I know just the thing." She turned and walked down the aisle. "Right this way, sir."
Genichiro blinked. On the girl's back was the tiny Batto.
"...Not bad work." He followed the girl.
* * * * *
"How about a Pikachu alarm clock?"
"Yurika...Don't force me to transform in order to deal with that."
"Megumi's a Pokemon fan, right? We could get her a Pidgey clock."
"Or we could leave this section entirely."
"Hmmm...Or we could get her a Hello Kitty clock."
"We're not here to get Megumi a clock. We're here to get me a clock."
"Oh, you're no fun, Ruri." She set the alarm clock back on the shelf and continued browsing. "Wow!" Yurika grabbed the alarm clock and held it out to Ruri. "You like science fiction, right? Here's a really nice one!"
Ruri blinked. The alarm clock had a picture of the Nadesico in the clock face. "No...it'll make me homesick."
"Oh, FINE! If you don't like any of my suggestions, why don't you just pick your own alarm clock? It's not like anything I could pick would be good enough." She grabbed an alarm clock at random. "How about this one? Really horrible, isn't it?"
The clock was in the shape of a leaping salmon. Ruri smiled.
"It's perfect."
"...Huh?" Yurika looked at the clock. "But...it's a fish."
"Yes." Ruri took the clock. "It's perfect. Thank you."
Yurika blinked. "As long as you're not gonna slap me with it..."
"It's not a trout."
* * * * *
Tenkawa Akito was not in a good mood.
First, his new alarm clock had proven less than reliable, and he'd had to rush to get to work. Then, when he'd gotten there, he'd had perhaps five minutes to finish setup before the first ice cream shipment had arrived. And despite the fact that the first shipment had been twenty minutes early, it was half melted.
And on top of that, he'd been completely unable to get Ruri out of his mind.
*What is it with this girl? Every time I turn around, she's under foot. But what's really disturbing is the fact that I...know her. At least, I think I do...Like she's the girl from my dreams...*
* * * * *
"Ruri, are you sure you don't want me to carry the alarm clock? After all, you're such a klutz."
"I'm not that bad, it's my alarm clock, nothing's going to happen to it, and we've gotta get back to school as soon as possible."
"Why? Next period is lunch."
Ruri blushed.
"Oh!" Yurika giggled. "Silly me."
"Ai told you. My body is in overdrive. It needs more fuel."
They rounded the corner--and Ruri collided head-on with Akito. The alarm clock smashed onto the pavement.
"Oh, I'm so sorry...Oh, hi, Chibi-Usa."
"DON'T CALL HER THAT! Her name is Ruri!" Yurika was turning a marvellous shade of green.
Akito looked over at Yurika. "Oh, hello...Sorry, have we met?"
"WAAAHHHHH!" Yurika ran off down the street. Ruri glanced over at Akito. "That was mean."
Akito blinked. "I'm sorry about the clock, Chibi-Usa. Where did you get it?"
"Hm? At the ND. Why?"
"Because I think they have a roach problem." He pointed at the miniature Batto lying on its back.
Ruri glanced down...and gasped.
"Akito...I gotta go. I'll stop by the ice cream store later."
"Uh...okay."
Ruri grabbed the Batto and ran for the school.
Akito shook his head. "Strange girl."
* * * * *
"But he doesn't even remember me!"
"I seriously doubt he remembers anyone. Ruri has just been spending more time with him than you." Inez wasn't unsympathetic to Yurika's plight; she just didn't see a solution.
"So all I have to do is spend some more time with him, right?"
"That could also be bad. You might end up driving him away."
Yurika looked genuinely confused. "But why would it drive him away? He loves me!"
"You just said that he doesn't remember you."
"Yet!"
"Oy vey." Ai shook her head. "Why do I even bother trying? Let me explain--"
"Ai! Yurika!" Ruri ran up, looking distressed.
"Oh, please tell me you need us to bash a golem?"
"...Yeah. Why?"
"As long as it's not problems with your love life. Let's go."
* * * * *
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is my best plan ever! Nobody will ever suspect that these harmless clocks are part of my nefarious--"
"Whose nefarious plan, Oh Fearless Leader?" Mie glared at Genichiro. "As I recall, you had to be electrocuted before you'd consider my plan. And now it's your plan?"
"But only my genius could bring such a plan to fruition."
"You've been watching Sailor Moon again, haven't you?"
"I have not!" Genichiro looked insulted. "If this were a Sailor Moon episode, we'd be hearing a really horrible speech delivered by some bimbo in a short skirt."
The door to the workshop slammed open.
"How dare you use such innocuous items such as alarm clocks for your evil purposes! How many loved ones will be hurt by your baneful plans? How many lives will be destroyed?"
"How long do we have to sit through your speeches?" Genichiro turned to face the three Warriors.
"In the name of the Martian Successors, you shall be punished!" Yurika finished her speech with a stupid pose.
"Baka."
Genichiro smirked. "You've been fairly lucky up to now. But I've had enough of you. Tokeimon - attack!"
Yurika blinked. "Tokeimon? Probably some cute little fuzzy animal--"
A massive claw landed on her shoulder. She looked up to see something vaguely humanoid, covered with armour and mechanical devices, and wielding a large weapon that looked like a cross between a sword and a spear.
"Ack!"
She leaped away from the creature. Unfortunately, there was very little room to maneuver in the workshop, and she crashed into a shelf and managed to completely bury herself in clocks.
Ai lifted her hammer. "Static Haze!"
The ground under the monster's feet exploded upward, dust and metal filings rising up all around it and obscuring its vision.
Ai yelled to Ruri. "We need room to fight. Get Yurika out of that pile and we'll lure it out into the open."
Ruri managed to grab Yurika's hand and pulled her to her feet. "Yurika. See that outer wall? We need a door."
"No problem. Flare Arrow!" Yurika raised the bow, and pulled back the string. A flaming arrow appeared at her fingertips. She aimed at the wall, and let it fly. The arrow blew a roughly human-sized hole in the wall.
"One door, ready to go. Use it quick. The Nerima repair companies are VERY efficient."
"Ruri, give us covering fire!" Ai dove through the hole.
Ruri drew her plasma pistol and loosed a few rounds at random into the haze. Then she turned and ran through the hole.
The hole was abruptly widened as the Golem came through it.
"That thing is huge!" Yurika gaped at it. "It's far bigger than any we've fought before!"
"Size doesn't matter."
"Oh, really? Then why are you chasing Akito?"
The beast raised an arm and pointed it at Ruri. Ruri's eyes widened.
"Distortion Field!" She spun her staff in front of her. A glowing blue cloud formed all around her, then stabilized into a light blue sphere.
The beast launched a cluster of spinning discs at Ruri, which ricocheted off of the Distortion Field.
"It has melee capability and ranged physical attacks. Not good." She glanced over at Ai. "Is it like the others we've fought recently? A spirit dominating a human body?"
"I think so. But getting within range of that sword would be a problem. Not to mention, it looks like the add- ons around it are part of the shop we were in. This thing is three layers, so you can't just force the spirit out with your Distortion Field."
"I hate it when they learn. Any good news?"
"No."
"Well, I'm not gonna let it just take us apart. Flare Punch!" Yurika's fist glowed a bright orange, and there was a blast of light when she hit the golem. It staggered back, seemingly dazed.
"Some help would be nice!"
Ruri nodded. "First, we need to destroy the armour, correct?"
"Yes, but without destroying the human."
"It's too huge...the human can't take up all of it. Target its lower legs."
"Particle Blast!" Ai swung the hammer, as though to throw it, and it blazed a bright golden. A crescent-shaped beam of energy formed, and flew across the room to slam into the Golem's left leg. The leg was blown clear off at the knee, and the Golem staggered.
"Flare Arrow!" Yurika raised the bow, and pulled back the string. A flaming arrow appeared at her fingertips. She aimed at the Golem, and let it fly. It tore into the Golem's right leg, and burned it to a stub. The Golem wobbled, then fell face first into the ground.
"Okay, it's immobilized. But remember, it can still shoot."
"I'm not going to give it a chance."
Ruri brought her staff to bear on the Golem the end protruding from the Distortion Field. The Field flowed along the staff, and began to glow brilliantly.
"Distortion Beam!"
The beam leapt from the staff, a single, short blast of energy that ripped through the Golem. It peeled the back layer of armour right off of the Golem, exposing the human inside.
"Yurika, get her out of there. Ai, as soon as Yurika's clear, vaporize that thing."
"No problem."
Yurika leaped onto the struggling Golem's back and pulled the possessed human - a short, brown-haired girl - out of the hole in its back. As she leaped away, Ai hit the Golem itself with a Static Haze. Clockwork components and metal filings filled the air.
Ruri turned towards the shop. "I'm going to stop Genichiro. You two get her some medical attention."
"Ruri, you can't attack him!"
"Why not? He's only human."
"He's also gone."
Ruri blinked, then peered into the workshop. Sure enough, it was deserted, save for fifty or so dying Battos.
"Damn it! I hate it when he does that!"
* * * * *
Ruri scooped Omoikane out of the beanbag chair, dropped into it, and set the cat in her lap. Yurika grabbed the pink chair, straddling it backwards, and Ai dropped onto the bed.
"You know, Ruri, after all of that, you still didn't get an alarm clock."
Ruri absent-mindedly stroked the cat. "There's just something wrong with that. Once again, the universe is conspiring to make me late for school."
There was a knock at the door. "Ruri, that nice boy Akito was here a while ago. He said he missed you at the ice cream parlor. But he dropped something off for you."
Ruri raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"
Usagi opened the bedroom door and handed Ruri a box. "Here."
Ruri took only an instant to smirk at the already-bawling Yurika, then tore open the box.
"Oh, how nice!" Usagi clasped her hands together and smiled. "He got you an alarm clock."
Ruri smiled, and set the alarm clock on her nightstand. "How nice of him."
"But Ruri...why is it a fish? And where's the bolt of cloth, and the--"
"Shut up, mother."
Ai looked closer at the clock. "Wasn't your a salmon? This one's a koi."
"WAAAAAHHHHH!"
* * * * * *
Author's Notes:
Real life sucks. Especially in an election year. Our apologies for not getting this out sooner.
Our apologies to: Carl Macek (butcher of anime), BBC, Tom Baker, Sigourney Weaver, Hayashibara Megumi (but really, it's her own fault), Sprite, our readers, Japan in general, and Rumiko Takahashi.
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Comments and Criticism can be sent to kitsy@home.com or to tailkinker@home.com. The story is archived at www.geocities.com/groves_ca and at members.home.net/kitsy. There is a mailing list for the story; to subscribe, send mail to tailkinker@home.com with 'subscribe mgpr' in the subject heading.