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"Oi, oyaji!" Ranma banged on the door of the apartment. "We gotta talk!"
The door opened, and Genma looked out. "What do you want?" he snapped.
"Hey, what's eatin' you?"
"What's eating me is that you have not come to visit me, have in fact ignored me and missed a great deal of practice, ever since you joined the U.N. Spacy. And I know that the only reason you have for being here at this time is that Kasumi asked you to interfere on her behalf."
Ranma darked. "Look, oyaji, you got a place here, okay? U.N. Spacy gives it to you, free of charge, even gives you meal tickets. I know that the twenty hours of community service has gotta really hurt you, since it means work, but-"
"Ranma! You have gone against your father's wishes in every way! You have abandoned the Art, betrayed your family, joined the army, and refused to honour your family's commitments!"
"Look! I have NOT abandoned the Art! I still practice every day, and I've been in a few battles and won handily every time! I have NOT betrayed my family! I'm just tryin' to help out the Tendos. They have enough problems without you. You yourself said that joinin' U.N. Spacy was okay. And what commitments exactly am I not honouring?"
"When do you intend to wed Tendo Akane?"
"Once both of us finish our tour of duty! Now that I've answered all your stinkin' questions, I gotta go."
"You going to the beauty pageant?"
"Yeah, and I only got another hour to register."
"...Register? Surely you are not entering the contest?"
"Well, yeah. Bit of a challenge, between me and my flight leaders."
"Ranma. Come inside for a moment. This is very important."
"Huh? Okay..."
Ranma walked into the apartment. He looked around - this was the first time he'd ever been in his father's apartment. The room held a futon, a low table, and a few odds and ends. His father rummaged around in his old backpack, eventually producing a small wooden box. He opened the box, pulled out a scroll, and handed it to Ranma.
"Read this."
Ranma unrolled the scroll - it was fairly yellowed, but not particularly old. "'I, Saotome Genma, being of sound mind and body' - yeah, right - 'do hereby take solemn oath to raise my son, Saotome Ranma, to be a true master of the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling, and a man among men, to be judged by Saotome Nodoka, and also swear that should I fail, both myself and Ranma shall give our lives in apology for our failure.'"
The scroll was signed by Genma, and also held a small handprint.
"Who's Saotome Nodoka? An Elder of the Clan?"
"Not exactly. She's your mother."
"...my mother? My MOTHER? You told me she was dead!"
"Well, she's not. Now you think about this. If you enter this contest - as a girl! - and your mother hears about it, what's she gonna think?"
* * * * *
"Now what if none of us win this? How do we determine who won the bet?"
"Don't worry, Akane. One of us is gonna win for sure."
"There! I'm signed in. Ranko, your turn."
Ranma scrawled in her name, date of birth and age, then signed the disclaimer.
"But if one of us doesn't?"
"Look, Akane, there'll be five finalists, and there's only thirty contestants. All five finalists are rated by the end of this thing. If by some disaster none of us make it into the finals, then we'll have a problem. And as long as you didn't choose cooking for the talent portion-"
-WHAM-
"Beg pardon, Ranko?"
"Never mind. Uncute tomboy-"
-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-
"Boy," mused Shoko. "It's a good thing she heals fast."
* * * * *
The pageant was rather small compared to similar earth-bound events. This was not only because of the small population of Macross, and the correspondingly small number of contestants, but also because of the lower available resources. Mayor Luan had pulled out most of the stops for this event, however, and there was a good-sized amphitheatre - known as the Star Bowl - built for the contest, capable of seating twenty thousand people. And almost certainly, the forty thousand that couldn't fit were watching the event at home on their television sets.
There were five events. The first was evening wear. Each girl was required to pick out an evening gown and would be judged by that as much as by her appearance. Ranma had little to no clue how to proceed, but in exchange for getting Genma off of the Tendo's backs, Kasumi had helped him out a bit. Lessons on appropriate clothing, use of makeup and so on...Ranma shuddered as he considered his discussion with his father. If his mother EVER heard about this...
The girls had a common dressing room, but each girl had her own cubicle to change in. Ranma looked over the competition as he entered. Among them were some familiar faces: Lin Minmei, of course, and an American woman named Jan Arden. Jan did the morning television news show, "Good Morning, Macross!" He had to admit, she was quite good looking, even though she was in her thirties. And of course, Shoko and Akane were there, as well as Tendo Nabiki.
"Yo, Nabiki, why are you in this thing?"
She smiled coyly. "What's the matter, Ranko? Don't think I have what it takes to win?"
"Well...I just thought it wouldn't be your style, y'know?"
"Well, just think of the prize money..."
"Right, I understand."
Among those that he didn't recognize were a tall, auburn-haired woman, a woman whose spiky hair was dyed cyan, and whose eyes looked disturbingly feline, a teenaged japanese girl he remembered seeing at the temple - very beautiful, with red highlights in her long black hair - and another girl in U. N. Spacy uniform - very cute, freckle-faced and bespectacled, though she was just unpacking her contacts. Could be a contender...
"Could you possibly leer at them any more, Ranko?"
"Huh?" Ranma glanced at Akane, who was looking at him smoulderingly. "Whaddaya mean, leering? I'm just sizing up the competition."
"I don't see you sizing me and Shoko up."
"I see you guys every day. Get a grip, willya?"
Then Ranma spotted another girl he recognized. Long hair, with two balls on either side, a red silk cheongsam..."Oh, no..."
"You! Outsider girl! You die!"
The chinese girl lunged towards Ranma, hands raised to strike. Ranma dodged, grabbed an arm, and slammed her to the ground.
"Look, Shampoo, you're never gonna beat me, got it? Quit tryin'."
"One day, I catch you not looking, then you die." She blinked. "You in contest?"
"Huh? Yeah, why?"
Shampoo smirked. "Then I win here, you die. You win, I stop trying to kill. Is fair?"
"I guess, if you really want it that way..."
"Fine. Xian Pu need get ready now."
She bounced back through the crowd of girls.
"Who was that?"
Ranma sighed. "As best I can say it, her name is Shampoo. Pop and I went through her village after we left Jushenkyou, and I ended up fighting against her. Since then, she's been chasing me all over the world. I thought she'd lost me when I joined U.N. Spacy. At least, I haven't seen her since then."
"She sure is cute. You better hope you don't lose, Ranko."
"Cute? She's trying to kill me!"
"Well, I gotta go get ready for the contest." She leaned over and whispered in his ear. "You peek at ANY of us while we're changing, and you won't have to worry about Shampoo killing you, got it, pervert?"
"H-Hai."
* * * * *
"Next is Saotome Ranko, age nineteen. Born in Nerima and raised to a life of martial arts, Ranko joined the U. N. Spacy at age sixteen and rose through the ranks until she became commander of the newly formed Angel Squadron."
~Thank the Kami for my balance training,~ mused Ranma as she made her entrance. She was wearing a grey strapless gown, a little more severe than most of the other contestants. As she had been coached, she walked the length of the runway, turned around a complete 360, then walked back up the runway. ~Damn high heels - How the heck do girls walk in these things anyway?~ She flashed a big smile across the crowds as she took her place next to Arden in the line-up at the end of the stage. The announcer - Vance Hasslewood - walked up to her, microphone in hand.
"Ranko, can you tell the panel of judges about your views of women in the military?"
Ranma paused. "Well, I think that some of the most skilled people in the U.N. Spacy are female. I mean, only about ten percent of the U.N. Spacy is female, but those ten percent are all in the top twenty five percent in their fields. The best soldier I know is female. I'm not gonna name names, though - she might be my CO. Or worse yet, she might not."
A laugh ran through the crowd at that.
* * * * *
Lisa Hayes, watching the show from the bridge, chuckled at the screen. "Either way, Saotome, you're toast."
* * * * *
After the first two events, the line of girls filed off the stage. Ranma sighed in relief as he pulled off the heels. Fifteen girls had gotten dropped from the competition, between the evening wear and the vocal event. Among those dropped were the cyan-haired woman with the disturbing eyes, the auburn-haired woman - an excellent voice, he wasn't sure why she'd been dropped - and the U.N. Spacy Ensign, Sammie Porter. Shoko and Minmei were still in, as were both Tendo sisters.
"Hey, Ranko! I didn't know you could sing that well!" Minmei bounced over and hugged Ranma quickly. Ranma glanced nervously at Akane, but luckily she was looking elsewhere.
"Yeah...I kinda spent a lot of time singing on the road. Makes the day shorter, y'know?"
"Yep! Gotta get ready for the next event!" She bounced off again.
Ranma sighed. The next event was the talent portion. She knew Minmei would be singing again - this time a song that she had written herself. Akane would also be singing, Shoko would be dancing - a good choice for the energetic pilot - and she had no idea at all what Nabiki had planned. Ranma reached for her gi.
* * * * *
The gi was all red silk, and billowed at the cuffs of both arms and legs. Ranma doubted she'd ever wear something so...flamboyant...in a real fight, but she had to admit that it allowed her considerably more freedom of movement than her usual heavy cotton gi. The jacket of the gi reached almost to her knees, and was belted with a wide black obi. On her feet were dark red slippers, specially made with treaded rubber soles for traction.
Vance Hasslewood was hassling her again. "Ranko, why don't you tell us what you have planned for us?"
"Well, most of my life has been spent practicing martial arts. I've studied aikido, kempo, ta'i chi, goju and shotokan karate and jiu jitsu, as well as my family's style of Musabetsa Kakotou, or as I call it, Anything Goes. Most people think of martial arts as violent. But I've found that it can be an art beyond the martial. A well-executed kata is a thing of beauty. So I've put together a kata, involving elements of jiu jutsu, aikido and the Musabetsa Kakotou, set to music."
"Martial arts dancing?"
"Yeah...I guess you could call it that."
"Great! The stage is yours!"
Hasslewood moved quickly out of her way, and Ranma grinned. Did he really think she was going to pound him or something?
She assumed a ready position - not an easy one, but she held it - then reached to her center and found her inner balance. The music she had chosen began - a rearrangement of Pink Floyd's "Echoes", purely instrumental. She held the ready position all through the opening bars, then began to move.
If performed at full speed, this kata would take approximately three minutes to complete. She did it extremely slowly - she had twenty minutes of song to fill. Her movements were graceful, even and measured, one flowing into another. Her feet rarely left the ground, and most of the kata was carried by her hands.
The music picked up in tempo, entering a guitar solo, and her kata flowed into a jiu jitsu routine. Now it included punches and kicks, delivered with precision and panache. Her eyes were completely closed, and she lost herself to the rhythm of the kata.
The solo faded out, and Ranma allowed her rhythm to slow, then stop. The next part of the song was mostly synth and whalesong. Her kata shifted back to a slow pattern again, drawing on aikido and ta'i chi. This portion, the Art was at its slowest - maneuvers that could be performed in under a second, stretched out as long as half a minute in spaces. It was also the portion requiring the most concentration and stamina, as holding the positions could be quite painful.
The final part of the song began, similar to the first, and Ranma switched back to the Musabetsa Kakotou. The finale was thunderous, and faded swiftly to silence, leaving Ranma in the ready stance she had started in.
Then the applause from the audience was thunderous. Ranma straightened, then bowed towards them before exiting the stage.
* * * * *
Again Ranma was strutting her stuff up and down the runway. Her bathing suit was a pink one-piece, cut high at the legs and low at the neck, with flower-like lacework along the front. She and Kasumi had spent almost three hours arguing about this one. Even though the final choice was a compromise, it still gave her cavities just to look at the damned thing.
She glanced at the other contestants. Only ten girls were left, five additional (including Nabiki) having been dropped during the talent portion of the contest. She doubted that Shoko would last another round, and guessing how...modest...Minmei's bathing suit was, she'd probably be disappearing right soon.
Akane's suit was equally modest...but she filled it out quite nicely...
* * * * *
"And now, our five finalists, in alphabetic order...
"Jan Arden, anchorwoman on 'Good Morning, Macross!'"
Considerable cheers greeted Jan as she crossed over and sat in the first seat in Finalist's Row. Jan was quite popular on the Macross, and tuning into her show was often the first thing that most people did upon waking up in the morning. For Ranma, "Good Morning, Macross!" was second only to that first cup of coffee.
"Lin Minmei, of the famous White Dragon Restaurant!"
The cheers were deafening; the White Dragon was, quite literally, the heart of the rebuilt Macross City, and Minmei was already sweetheart of the ship. She bounced out to Finalist's Row, blowing kisses to the crowd.
"Saotome Ranko, commanding officer of the Angel Squadron!"
She grinned as she made her way out to her seat. Her own cheering section was quite vocal, including the entire fighter complement of the Macross.
"Tendo Akane, also from the Angel Squadron!"
Akane's cheering section was the same as Ranma's. Akane beamed at the crowd, and walked down to her seat. Ranma leaned over.
"Gonna lose points on your entrance. Y'know this, right?"
"Shut up. Shoko's out of it."
"Yep. Wonder who's left?"
"And finally, Xian Pu, of the Niuchezu Tribe of China!"
Shampoo bounced across the stage, waved to the crowd, then dropped into her seat. Ranma was seriously worried about the amount of cheers she was receiving; Shampoo was a cipher. All of the other girls had something backing them up, either in the U.N. Spacy or in Macross City. Shampoo had made it this far on innate ability.
"As explained in the rules of the contest, the panel of judges will now ask each finalist a question. Each question will be different for each finalist, and each finalist will have no more than five minutes to deliver her answer. Then you, the audience, both here in the stadium and watching from your homes, will lock in your votes. Are the judges ready?"
Th panel of judges was made up of five people: Thomas Luan, mayor of Macross City; Henry Gloval, who looked like he'd really rather be somewhere else; Mark Kramer; and two other people Ranma didn't recognize. One of those rose and addressed Hasslewood.
"We are ready. The first question goes to Jan Arden. In your mind, what problems do the youth of Macross City face above and beyond those faced by young people growing up on Earth?"
Jan stood and picked up her microphone. "I think that the problems faced by the young people of the Macross community are no different from those faced by children of Earth. While our situation is precarious, so are those of countless children in, say, the old Soviet Union, in Thailand or any other third world country.
"We have developed here a complete community, a microcosm of Earth. We have malls, we have restaurants, we have television and radio stations and we are even preparing to begin filming movies. Our culture has remained the same, even through all our trials. All that is different is the scale."
Jan sat back down, looking mightily pleased with herself. Ranma shook her head absently. ~Blew it.~
The second panelist stood. "This question is for Lin Minmei. Would you please tell us your views on competition?"
Minmei looked thoughtful. "I think that competition is what spurs us on to accomplish bigger and better things. It gives us drive, and pushes us on. I mean, if you're competing against someone else, like for instance the talent portion of this contest, you know that you have to give it your all, because if you don't deliver your best, someone else may deliver just one step better.
"Now I know that too much competition is a bad thing. I mean, if you let it control your life, you can get very bitter, because too often, there IS someone better than you. But if you keep a healthy attitude, and keep your perspective intact, you can easily make your competitive spirit a good thing."
Ranma grinned. ~Girl's deeper than she acts at times. Still, that wasn't really well thought out. She better have some points saved up from earlier on...~
Mark Kramer stood, with an evil grin on his face. "This question's for Ranko Saotome. Why don't you tell us about your views on love?"
~You're a dead man, Kramer.~
Ranko nervously stood and picked up the microphone. She could feel Akane's eyes burning into her.
"Personally, I think love is the most important thing anyone can have. It's a catalyst. Any bad situation can be improved upon with a generous dose of it, and any good situation made that much nicer.
"But it's a give and take situation as well. If neglected, it can wither. If stressed, it can break. But if nurtured and returned, it can grow."
She sat back down and shook her head slightly. ~Man, was that lame!~
Henry Gloval stood. "This question is for Tendo Akane. We have already asked your commanding officer her views on women in the military. Can you tell us of your view of the future of women on the battlefield?"
Akane grinned. "I think that women can be just as good in the battlefield as men, and I think we're going to see a lot more women going to combat positions. The Angel Squadron proved that many of the women in non-combat positions were unhappy with these postings, and not only had the desire, but the ability to serve in a combat position. Personally, I think that the Angel Squadron, which has consistently out-performed almost every other squadron on this ship, proves that we have what it takes."
Akane's answer was the only one so far to provoke any applause from the crowd. It was light and scattered, but it was there.
Tommy Luan stood. "This last question is for Shampoo." Ranma grinned at the man's mispronounciation. "Can you tell us your views on happiness?"
Xian Pu stood and picked up her microphone carefully. "Xian Pu know that happiness is something not always there. When it there, must enjoy to fullest. When not there, must work to make it. Can always make happiness if know how; but must want it." She set down the microphone and took her seat.
Vance Hasslewood stepped forward. "Now comes the voting. For those of you in the audience, you'll find a small box with five numbered buttons. Press the button corresponding to the finalist you wish to vote for. For you folks at home, dial the number on your screen, enter your ID code, then press the number of the finalist you vote for. You have five minutes to vote."
Ranma snickered. She leaned over to Akane. "We had five minutes to speak, and I don't think this'll take any longer than any one of us took. Bets?"
"Nope."
Sure enough, the technicians announced fifty thousand returns - this being the cutoff threshold - within two minutes. The head technician delivered the results to Hasslewood in a sealed envelope. Vance made a great production out of opening the envelope and removing the results.
"Here we go! In the number four position...Tendo Akane."
There was light applause, mostly from the U.N. Spacy contingent. Akane sulked. "Guess you get to go on being Squadron Commander."
"Guess so."
"In the number three position...Xian Pu."
More applause. Xian Pu visibly wilted, then glanced sadly over to Ranma.
"In the number two position...Saotome Ranko."
Ranma shrugged and grinned. At least she beat out Xian Pu. Heck, she never wanted to win this thing anyway. She eyeballed the remaining two contestants.
"And the winner of the Miss Macross Beauty Pageant..."
Ranma noted Jan Arden, half rising, ready to take the prize...
"Lin Minmei!"
Minmei squealed and launched herself from her chair, running forward to hug Hasslewood. Ranma grinned, watching her, then glanced back over to Jan.
Her eyes were following Minmei, smouldering with rage.
* * * * *
Ranma and Akane had just left the Star Bowl when Xian Pu dropped down in front of them. She fell at Ranma's feet.
"Xian Pu fail. Outsider female defeat mightiest Niuchezu warrior again. Xian Pu have no honour left. No can return to tribe again.
"Please...kill Xian Pu."
Ranma sighed. "I'm not gonna kill you, Shampoo."
"Then Xian Pu take own life in apology."
"I can't let you do that either, Shampoo. Please, can you tell me why you're doing all this?"
"Is Amazon Law. If outsider female defeat Niuchezu warrior, that female must die."
"And if that outsider is a male?"
Ranma lifted her thermos, and dumped it over her head, transforming into a male.
Xian Pu looked up with shock in her eyes.
"Is true? Ranko really man?"
"Yeah, and the name's Ranma, not Ranko. You gonna stop trying to kill me now? And you're not gonna kill yourself? ACK!"
Xian Pu had launched herself in a full Amazon Glomp (tm).
"Niuchezu Law say if outsider male beat Niuchezu warrior, he marry her!"
"WHAT?!"
Akane grabbed Ranma's collar. "Ranma! You better explain this right away!"
"I don't know anything about it, okay?"
Xian Pu released Ranma. "Xian Pu go tell Hibachan we married. Is okay?"
"No! It's not! We're not married, Shampoo!"
But the Amazon was already bouncing off. Ranma wilted.
"I hate my life...I hate my life..."